Goodbye Judgement and Toxicity

As your family grows you need to grow. This includes your parenting style and how you relate to your children. I am constantly re-evaluating our families needs and interactions and adjusting as best I can. This was a hard summer for me. There were a lot of adjustments and things to be dealt with.

Due to my husbands work schedule I did a lot of solo parenting which left me pretty exhausted and stretched thin. I started to hate who I had become, which was a short tempered and burnt out mom. This isn’t what I wanted for myself or my family.

The additional pressure of information overload and judgement on parenting did not help. I have found there to be very little to no support for parents but miles of judgement. I am tired of being made to feel constantly shamed and criticized for my choices. There are lots of voices for that but miles of empty fields when you reach out for help and support.

This became abundantly clear to me when I moved to this city. Suddenly, I lived near and developed new support. I have more support now than I ever have before. People willing to give their time and lend a hand. Something as simple as the neighbor popping in for coffee and to sit with the youngest while he naps and I run over to the school for my oldest has made a world of difference.

I am done with the judgements and focusing on what we want and need as a family. I am done with toxic parenting. For me that means those who judge parents but never offer help. Who offer no empathy and support only criticism. I have cut other toxic relationships out of my life, now it is time to dispose of the toxic parent judges.

I am an unusual mix of strict and lenient with my kids. I want my children to have manners and be respectful. However, they can do that without cutting their personal boundaries. We love video games, board games, tabletop games, movies and YouTube. I encourage questions, self expression and emotions.

Do you need to throw a temper tantrum? Go ahead, in your room scream, yell and cry. Then come back down and we can work thru this together. Need to get out aggression? We have foam swords and shields, gardening and yard work. Emotions but no ideas? We have art, cooking and a million other creative things. Express yourself, then we come come around and work through it.

I am working with what works for the 5 of us and I am done apologizing for it.

Finding Strength every day.

Your Sassy Viking Mama

Irisa

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